Melinda I can relate with everything you have said... and I understand how overwhelmed you are feeling right now. Your husband seems to have built walls up that make it hard to let people in even if he wants to. He might not know how. It sounds to me that you feel depended on more than loved? and like a mother rather than a partner... how does he feel? have you shared this. It may be hard to knock down these walls and get to the underlying problems that are blocking your progress together as a couple. Intimacy is important on many levels not just sex and communication is key. also allowing ourselves to feel vulnerable to another can be terrifying if we have a past that makes it hard to 100% trust that others wont hurt us. If you need someone who understands... who has been there feel free to message me privately anytime... if anything i am happy to just listen and be supportive... maybe i can share some techniques that have worked for me. Take a deep breath and realize you are not alone... not at all. Many blessings