Oh gosh, "Nish" -- I wish there was SOME way to get thru to her. Your life at home as a youngster must have been VERY difficult, and I'm really sorry about that. It's no wonder you have some issues, and I'm surprised that you only have the issues that you have!! You've done extremely well, in my opinion! If I'd been in your place, I'm sure I would have had to have been "put away." No way could I have dealt with that all the years growing up, so I applaud your efforts at staying sane!

Perhaps "cutting her out" of your life would be the best decision right now. At least you'd be able to breathe and test your wings and take flight for awhile! And during this time, perhaps some of the resentments will fade away. One thing I realized about the resentments I had towards my parents (and they were nasty) was they gave ME what THEY were given. Their parents brought THEM up the same way that they brought YOU up. So the cycle continued. I forgave my parents because they didn't know anything else. They brought me up the only way they knew how. I broke that cycle with my kids. NO WAY was I going to bring up my kids the same way.

So maybe you can give your Mom a break? Just think about it anyway. God bless and please take care. And keep us posted on how you're doing, okay? We DO care. Hugs, Lee