Well, I never thought of putting it like this, but yes, PTSD does really challenge someone's sense of safety with "self". Unless someone experiences it first hand it is extremely hard to understand how much of a challenge it really is. My experience has completely changed my view on others and my empathy for others who struggle with MI has increased two fold. It is such a lonely disorder and it is so important that when someone is challenged by it to get help and lots of "validation".

For anyone who is challenged with PTSD, it is very important to understand the brain and also not "self blame" at all with it. Understanding that there are reasons why our brains have strong emotions and that the driving force is to "learn" on a much higher level is very important. To understand that our brains are truely designed to puzzle and stress so that we "pay closer attention" is a must so that when someone is struggling they realize that with time they can regain an even higher level of understanding and balance.

It is important to understand that we only use such a small portion of our brain on a "conscious" level and much of what we have in the "unconsious" or "subconscious" mind is from our environment and nurturing while we are growing up. Once we develope PTSD, what happens is that our brains begin to sort through our history to find resolve, simply to help us survive. When we have a troubled history that may include more trama, we can begin to experience these events that come up to the conscious mind causing us to have "more" confusion in our conscious mind.

Giving ourselves time to understand what is really happening in our brain allows us to accept our individual healing process much better. To understand that the troubling things that come forward are not "punishment" or "meant to hurt us" or "mean we are broken" or "that we are now forever doomed somehow" is very important to making progress and regaining balance back "through" PTSD.

I have talked about "waves" before in this forum. Well, when we are triggered or experiencing a flashback or span of a difficult or challenging memory, it is crucial to understand "this is not "now"". These "waves" come in and crest and then slowly receed. The way to "handle them better" is to realize that it is important to allow it to just come in for whatever time it comes forward, then receed, and that is when we can "consciously" work on them and pay attention to how our bodies are reacting and work on recovering our sense of "calm". We can "observe" our anxiety and practice distracting our mind so that our body stops getting the signal to "run" or "have a high alert". Then we can "consciously" slowly work through whatever it is and with time, whatever it is "can" be worked through and then become a "solved" memory.

Yes, it sounds "easy" but for anyone who struggles, it is not easy, it time consuming and each person is different depending on what they have in their history that was tramatic and somehow "unresolved". However, each time these waves come forward, are consciously worked through, they actually reduce in how they disable and eventually they are just a ripple and no longer a major challenge.

For example, in my own experience, I had a "tramatic" childhood. I had thought I had survived much and moved on, I never, ever, expected to experience these tramas again the way I have been. I have learned that when an event comes forward from my childhood, my conscious mind see's it from that child's standpoint, not from my adult self. These experiences that come forward can last from 10 minutes to all day and for that length of time I am that child. This confuses my "conscious" mind from a day to perhaps a few days where I am part that child and part my adult conscious mind. During that time, I really struggle to just be able to go along in my normal single conscious adult mind, interacting and doing regular day to day activities. And most people have an extra struggle because the "conscious" mind is being overworked. So that is why most people who are in the beginning stages of experiencing PTSD often "isolate" and "get very tired and easily depressed".

However the brain is smart, often only allows so much to come forward at a time, this is to "self protect" so we do not get too overwhelmed with the chemicals that also come forward, expecially "cortizol" which present the signal of "danger, fight or flight". So often memories or flashbacks only come in "fragments".
This again is not about "punishment", instead it is to work on each piece at a time so that the brain is not over worked.

If we are taught to understand what is taking place, we can develope ways to "consciously" work on telling our body, "no this is not real danger, relax, stop producing cortizol, no need to run", we can learn to slowly gain more control as we work on "healing and recovery". If we are "not" taught to understand what is taking place, these experiences can "frighten us" on top of whatever fear or danger is in the memory coming forward, which leads to extreme challenge.

The first stage of PTSD is the "most challenging" and that is when many things come forward and it is very "confusing" and "scarey" and worse if there is "no one" to help us understand what is taking place. To be around others who constantly remark to "just deal, just stop dwelling, just get a hold etc" is not good for anyone who is struggling. That is because in this stage of PTSD, there is no "just" and the person who is struggling becomes very aware of this and is already very aggrivated because they too wish they could "just".

What needs to be understood is that anything that comes to our conscious mind has to be processed. With PTSD, many times what comes to the conscious mind is from the past. As with anything that comes to the conscious mind, present or past, all has to be processed AFTER something is presented to the conscious mind. And in both cases, most of what comes to the conscious mind is "often unexpected".

When someone is experiencing PTSD, their "conscious mind" is working "overtime" because they are not just processing daily events and interactions coming in from the exterior world, they are also processing events and interactions from the "unconscious or subconscious mind" at the same time. And what they are dealing with is "all unresolved" and if they have a history of trama, abuse, neglect, or unresolve in their past, it brings "extra" stress. When this happens the "anxiety" level rises which ofcourse brings on feeling tired and depressed as well as a feeling of an inablitiy to work or participate on a normal level of day to day function. And because other people do not understand this challenge, and it really is so very difficult to explain, the person who is struggling begins to want to isolate more an more and also begins to feel they are "somehow a failure" as well. DO NOT GIVE INTO THIS FEELING, IT WILL GO AWAY WITH TIME.

If someone is struggling with PTSD, and is taught to understand it, also is taught that with time and slowly working through whatever confusion comes forward, they can slowly "gain balance" back and even have a better way of understanding, the person struggling can "suffer much less".

It is important to make efforts to still have access to "the adult conscious" productive life as well. But, to also establish "calming methods" and "time outs" and a "safe place where the person can have no demands and just "quiet safe rest". The more "support" the sufferer receives the more they will be able to feel better about working through their PTSD, not to feel guilty or be ashamed, but to just keep working through it, the better they will progress.

I cannot say enough, MUST SELF LOVE, SELF CARE, KNOW YOU ARE CHALLENGED AND DO NOT BE ASHAMED TO WORK THROUGH IT, NO MATTER WHAT. Understand that sometimes you will "react" to certain situations in a strong manner as well. Know, that you will only be able to "work through these times AFTER and do not be ashamed if you need to express yourself.

It is very important to find a good therapist that understands PTSD, can help you slowly sort through whatever comes forward as well. I CANNOT SAY ENOUGH HOW VALIDATION allows for gains and improvement to getting back to once again having a "better relationship with self again". So does "trama" destroy one's relationship with "self"? Well, I would say that what it does is "challenge" it in a way that comes as a complete surprise, not anything one could "imagine" having to deal with. It does "feel" like it is destroyed, but it isn't, it is very "repairable". With "therapy" and time you can come to know yourself in a very deep and more meaningful way, if you work at it and agree to "self nurture".

There are "stages to healing" with PTSD. The second stage is "mourning" where you will feel sad about the unfair things you have experienced and it is "ok" to grieve. The final stage is taking all you have learned and using it for the rest of your life. You have a wonderful brain, very capable, so give it a chance to heal, it can do it, it is your gift to learn, grow and gain all of your life. Realize the "you" that is lost right now, just needs time to sort things out, you are not really lost, you can make "peace" with the you that was somehow hurt and just didn't have the needed information to know how to deal with whatever challenged you in your past. Life is all about learning and growing anyway, none of us have all the answers.

((((Lots of caring hugs to keep trying and healing because you truely can)))
Open Eyes