It's just not fair because I love people for themselves and I try so hard to be good. But then I get locked out and left all alone and I don't understand why I always have to work so hard if nothing I do is good enough? And it's not fair to take away love as punishment.

I feel like I should have just left the stint in and let it take me slowly away. People only want something they made up in their head. Not the real thing... the real thing isn't good enough. How can I compete with someone who is perfect (and imaginary?) I can't....