It sounds like a mother directing her child: "if you're going to kill each other, go outside and do it; I just finished cleaning the carpet."

People who do that to you are trying to be authoritative; just tell them to do what they expect you to do themselves. That'll teach them you are your own advisor about how well you are doing.

Trippin is right about self-love. If we can't love ourselves, we can't love others.
So the opposite is true: people who love themselves are able to love others. It's
so nice to have loving people around us, isn't it?

Stay away from those who want power or authority over you. A real leader isn't like
that at all. That's a good topic for a thread for someone who wants to tell us what
his/her opinion is of a real leader.

I was married to one, so I know what it's like. Most of all, it's a loving gentleness
and showing the way--that comes out. The thing you've been experiencing
is exactly what trippin suggests: it's someone who is projecting his /her own fears and inadequacies onto you (or me, as the case may be).

Something got erased somehow. It was this: never judge yourself based on somebody else's opinion of who you are. People reveal more of themselves when they speak than they do the truth of you and your behavior. In fact, never judge yourself at all. Just evaluate who you are and live by your deepest principles. You will be fine doing that.