Quote:
Originally Posted by stratocaster
I also hate bpd. Remember, B, hating our disorder does not equate hating ourselves. You know this. And as scorp said, you ARE lovable and beautiful...It is our disorder that gives us the perception otherwise. (Although those perceptions certainly disguise themselves as reality often enough)...
Also, IMO, I don't feel you need to 'calm down' your talking. Get it out there girl, venting helps for me and what better place than our dysfunctional family here on PC? I do understand the feeling though (do you think it is a push/pull away from us? I ask because I feel I do this sometimes)
Much love.
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thanks so much for this.
I am extremely self-conscious about my "gabbing"; been told that's my bpd. My roommate tunes me out when he's had enough; although I understand how he must feel, it still hurts my feelings and I told him once, "If you are sick of hearing me, please let me know; I am not a china plate. Don't act out; talk to me; tell me what's going on. If you are not irritated with me, please reassure me that you are not. When you rub your eyes or tune me out, I feel like a bad kid again who's annoying."
Also, at 12 step meetings, every time I share, ppl get up and get coffee, whisper, or act nervous or fidget; I notice they act attentive when most of the others talk. That also hurts and has discouraged me from sharing there or anywhere else. I need to know when and where it's safe to talk now. I belong to some other sites and do not talk there anymore; I talk mostly here, but I am still scared ppl will tire of me and/or get angry at me for talking too much.
And although I know it already, it's good to hear, from someone else, that bpd deserves the rap, not the person with bpd! thanks for that, too.
Carol