I guess my reference was to the fact I seem to not be aware of some social rules when I'm out with my wife. I'm very anxious in social situations and either don't talk or talk too much. I get notified when I've done something wrong in a way that I would not do to someone else. My wife worries about everything and how people perceive her/us and I must meet these requirements.

I feel like I need a Rule Book so I could have a chance to keep the correct image of us in place.

My reference to an accounting ledger is because it seems as if there is a running tally of chores/tasks completed. If I'm working in the yard or out running errands and come home and my wife is asleep, I won't wake her. I know how hard she works and I'm happy she can rest for a bit. Reversing the situation would not be the same.

I don't get mad if she does not get done what she expects to get completed. She will get mad if I don't get mad if I'm less productive that perception requires. I'm kind of rambling.

A relationship is never 50/50, but anger and expecting the same self-critical expectations on your partner is not fair.