My wife and I have been fighting for months. All of this year, as a matter of fact. We have been together for 23 years and this is not our style. It's my fault. I have this friend, a close friend, she is extremely jealous of. That's all it is. My wife has obsessed to the point of reading my emails and checking my facebook messages. She checks the phone statement online and tells me how many times we texted that day. It's insane and there is no rational way to approach it.

My friend is important to me. She was there for me when my brother died. She spent the entire week following me around and just making sure I was okay and didn't need anything. She didn't bug me, invade my space, ask stupid questions or offer outdated platitudes. She was just there with Kleenex and an ear. Since then, and under different circumstances we have become good friiends. We see each other every day because we take our dogs to the same park every day. We do check to see if the other is going because we hate to be there alone and I live just around the corner.

I can't take it anymore. The stress has been constant. I committed suicide in August and that had a lot to do with it. My wife says she knows it's not about sex. She says it's about boundaries and appearances. Boundaries have been clearly established and respected. As for appearances, I have nothing to lose or gain by your perceptions and assumptions. So, I told my friend we can't have anything to do with one another at least until we can get into therapy. There is so much more. My wife has made it hard for me to be sympathetic to her, yet to her my loyalty lies. I have needed this to stop for so long. We tried everything, but nothing made her happy, yet all the while she swore she didn't want me to let go of the friendship. She made it impossible.

I'm so deeply depressed that I can't eat, don't leave the house and leave my phone of much of the time. I don't trust myself right now. Does anyone know of any books I can read that might help me understand my wife better, or how to rebuild trust and intimacy? I really miss her.