I just wanted to recommend a book that I recently read. I think it addresses some of the things I've seen posted about here. It's called The Sexual Healing Journey by Wendy Maltz.

It talks about how abuse can cause a person to develop unhealthy concepts about sex (it's dirty, it's uncontrollable, it's hurtful), and teaches more healthy ideas about sex (it's natural, it's respectful, it's sharing). There is a section for partners of an abuse survivor. And there's also a section on body work (alone and/or with a partner) that can help a survivor relearn touch (sexual or nonsexual) as a healthy & good feeling.

I've tried to read other books about sexual abuse - I think it was the Courage to Heal book - but it just upset me and brought up all the trauma. The emphasis in this book is the difference between abusive sex and healthy sex, and it's really hopeful & positive.

I hope some of you find it helpful!!