I have said this before, and I'm not meaning to pound you over the head with it or anything.

But even if your xT was the best therapist in the world, sometimes even their substantial skills are not enough to be able to work with and help certain clients.

c) Because it's not about you. It's about his inability to be able to help you, which was probably super frustrating to him. In the best case scenario, which I believe is likely, he felt that you would be better cared for by someone else. Which then transforms termination away from a rejection of you towards a product of his assessment that he wasn't good for you. It seems to me that it was less about him sending you away and more about him sending you towards somebody who would be better for you.

One of the lingering effects from abuse and neglect in childhood is that we think everything is about us-- every word directed our way, every action in our vicinity-- but the reality is that very little of how others treat us is about us. You can be a perfect client and still be terminated by your T. You can be the worst client in the world and say in therapy for decades with the same T. Not about the client, about the T and her/his ability to work with said client.

Keep talking about this, here, wherever, with your new T. It is not stupid or obtuse or any other negative level you want to use to beat yourself up with. What happened to you with your former T deserves your attention. It's obviously going to get your attention anyway, so why not your positive attention. You've been hurt. You're trying to get over it.

I just wish you could let yourself off the hook, and offer yourself a fraction of the tenderness and support you give to others.