I think the best is to look into the core of the problem, what is making u upset? does it really have to do with these two women, or is it how u feel about u, and where you are in life. I think its best that you look inward and try to fix urself, love yourself, for who you are-it sounds to me like u may have to build up your confidence? I do believe seeing a therapist would be your best route right now-you cant save the world, only yourself. I think a person has to be happy with themselves before they can be there for anyone else..Did all this depression start before you gotten close with this other woman, or after your father died? I think what is really important right now, besides any relationship, is getting yourself happy. Maybe both of these women are asking too much of you right now, and that has to be stressful. You can only do so much. Cut yourself a break and try to heal yourself-without feeling you have to be mr. great for both of them. You dont have to be-
On the other note, how does this other woman feel about getting so close to you and intruding on your marriage? I'm not trying to sound catty, but frankly what woman would be following around a married man, intruding and calling him-I know if I was your wife I wouldnt like it either. I wouldnt mind my husband having friends, but I had heard a woman was constantly calling or following him around, I wouldnt like it, in fact think she should know her place. Does this friend have a relationship of her own? I think once you get strong, you wont be dependent on this other woman for moral support. Your wife should be first. There is nothing wrong with having a friend, but when it comes to getting emotionally close to them, where you are closer to them then your own family, trouble arrives, and with how you feel, you dont need this burden. I loved this book called Healing with the Fairies by Susan Virtue-it got me out of my depression, and in the end i realize no one can make me happy only I can. I really hope you can find the happiness you deserve.