Online is a poor way to have a relationship, it may seem safe but it is not. You took a risk with him. Now take the risk and get out more into the sun. Be your own self and take pride in that. Risk taking is adventure, take intellegent risks.

I out lived my family thus I too, have no family connections. Being "Estranged" can be a good thing! This can mean you are now free of family attachments that can hold you back and keep you from experiencing true freedom. Let go of any attachments and experience the freedom and joy that comes with that letting go.

Below, I pasted a link to a scene from the movie "Avatar" that I have a deep connection to. This scene can be interperted as letting go of attachments, going through the doors (bariers) and out into the sun of every day life and real freedom. Experiencing the pure Joy of doing that!

Take the situation you are in, and use it as an opportunity to take the risk, and experience the Joy and freedom of being free of attachments, and taking the risks to be free. You can do it!, and you are in a better position to do it than most people are to do it.