Hey Lauru,

Remember when we talked about becoming friends with your child you, teen you, adult you. I think you are right here, forgive yourself first and foremost, and then you will be able to befriend those other you's ? I think it would be really hard to forgive if you are not able to forgive yourself first.

You owe it to yourself tho. You have been held hostage enough by this person. Maybe sometimes letting go is hard and scary. It's what we know, scary to not blame yourself, if you don't know what the opposite of that looks like. You didn't do what he did, you are not at fault.

I hope you can forgive yourself, I don't know about forgiving yourself for other actions tho, you might just need to give yourself understanding. If you were abused by someone else, there isn't something you need forgiven of.