I actually think one of the truths about myself is I'm too aware of myself.

I'm too aware that if I touch something dusty and I don't wash my hands, my skin tingles and I feel off balance until I do. I am too aware of when I am moving too fast or too slow. The lights are too bright. The clock ticking is too loud. Food has too much flavor, making it disgusting. Sure, I can taste all the nuances in a glass of wine, but I can't drink any wine because all of those flavors overwhelm me. And I was always this way. I was so sensitive to everything. Emotionally and physically. So I would speak up (because I wasn't one to keep quiet.)

And what did that lead to? Bullies. Torment. Being brushed off and ignored. Being told to toughen up. Being told that what I was was definately not good enough. So yeah, I think maybe that's part of what it is to have bipolar for me. I'm to aware of everything that comes at me, and I don't have the proper tools to block these things for some reason and no one took the time to actually teach me if they exist somewhere....