Hi, Sam2!

I think Lee's response was right on target, but if you're really scared of those doors opening, you can start off with a therapist who focuses on short-term therapy to get you going in your daily life.

I met with counselors in college who were mostly interested in checking in on my activity level and holding me accountable for "small" (ha! nothing feels small when you're depressed) changes like exercising more, sleeping regularly, and keeping a journal. Maybe a therapist like that would help you to regain your trust in the profession? For me, it wasn't a substitute for more intensive treatment, but it helped me get positive momentum.

If you decide to give someone a try, I encourage you to visit the Psychotherapy forum, too. Hope you keep posting!