Hi...how are you today? Sounds like you are being very hard on yourself...I think a therapist could help you..but maybe the one you went to wasn't the right one for you...don't be afraid to open up...they are there to listen and have heard everything...I am wondering why you think the therapist would hospitalize you? Anyhow...you do have alot of baggage to talk about..you can pm me anytime and just chat...hope you feel better soon...wish your mom could understand what you are going through...but sometimes moms can't handle things..or just don't know how...they don't always have the right answers either...go to therapist again if you can...and remember you are cared about...we all care on here!!!