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LMo
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Member Since: Jan 2003
Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 6,224
20 yr Member PC PoohBah!
Default Aug 27, 2006 at 07:22 PM
 
Seame - welcome to PC. I am divorced also (recently remarried), and I know how hard it is to move on. In fact, I'm not really surprised that you haven't, considering that you remained intimately close until recently. It took me at least 2 years to get to the point where I could think about my ex without feeling tears well up, so the fact that the "breakup" itself is fairly new for you (despite the divorce), you might be looking at some grieving time to go through.

Therapy did help me, but it didn't accelerate the process as I had desperately hoped. I didn't know anything about meds at the time, and don't know if it would have been appropriate for my situation, but I do know that if I had to go through it again, god forbid, the first thing I'd do is go to my Dr. to ask for an antidepressant. But, they aren't for everyone.

Do you have a therapist? If not, it would be a great idea, if for no other reason than to help you feel that you're taking some steps toward moving on without your ex.

I know that there isn't much I can say that will make you feel better - I personally felt like my entire world had come crashing down on me, and it was a looooonnnng time before I actually felt some hope for my future. But, the good news is that I DID get over him (as best as can be expected) and found new, better love. I no longer wish that we could have stayed together -- I am glad that he gave me the opportunity to have found my new husband, because he is all the good about my ex without any of the bad.

Hang in there, and I'm here to listen if you want to talk more.

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