Try to get into an outpatient program. Work on nutrition and a routine.

ROUTINE IS IMPORTANT IN STABILITY. Humans are habitual! Unless we're going on vacation we should have an idea of what we'll be doing the preceding day.

I don't think you need the ECT if you're uncomfortable with it. I DO think you need to get into a program that will keep you occupied so you're not by yourself for most of the day until you feel really comfortable with yourself. PLEASEEEE remember that FOLLOWUP is important.