I feel like you do most of the time, I sit here on the sofa and wait for nighttime so I can be in bed. I take my medicine religiously and it still just keeps me awake but thats about it. My doctor suggested I have more shock treatments, but I hate getting those, I lost my memory and can't seem to have pull together chain of events. I really know how you feel, its comforting to know I'm not the only one.