I'm so sorry you are feeling so bad. I hope you can find some caring and comfort on this site. I was so depressed for quite a bit of time and was slowly able to climb out of it. Not by trying harder but just by believing that there are people who understand and people who have been down so low and have been able to feel a little better. So my hope for you is that if only a tiny bit better you may feel this moment. Thinking of you emotionally_drained. Hang in there.