Oh hell yeah that is trauma. I can't really say what would work because i have not been thru something remotely that horrible. I can imagine that would take a loooong time to recover from something that hardcore.

I just wanted to say that you have a lot of respect from me. A lot of people would be going around doing anything and everything to avoid thinking about it or dealing with it, eg drugs/sex/addictions etc. And here you are, standing up in the face of it and working through it. That would take a LOT of guts. You are one DAMN strong person. Its like David standing up in the face of Goliath. I definitely tip my hat to you. I know you said you dont think of yourself as a strong person but I'm just saying that to an outsider, it sure as hell looks like it!

Oh I just realised some other people have already said what i said but what the hell i'll post it anyways.