Evangelista, I'm not sure I'm understanding you. Can you please help me out here. I hear you saying that there is this part of you, wild animal, angry beast, if you let that beast out it might be scary to your therapist. So you keep it under lock and key, in a cage, you do not expose that part to your T. So it remains inside you where it torments you. You'd like to be able to let it out of its cage, to show its face, and you fear T will not be able to handle it.
If this is not what you are saying, and it's not too difficult for you, kindly clarify.
If this is what you are indeed saying, I want to share with you that I've felt the same way. I wanted T to know the real me, the full me, the good and the bad,
(and could she like me despite it all...).
Y'wanna hear something funny? At one point I brought in a photo of an animal, a beastly one. I asked T to please put it under lock and key cuz I'm unable to control it, its rage and frenzy. She did indeed "cage" it, in her filing cabinet, then locked it.

If it's rage you're talking about, I hear you. The rage that has never been expressed and it's kicking and screaming behind glass walls, unable to get out. A rage so huge, it appears larger than anything we can get a handle on by ourselves. A rage so destructive it terrifies us as well.

But take heed. As we talk about it in a safe place and talk about it again and again, it loses its grip on us. Eventually, we become larger than our rage. I have hope, I hope you can too.

Take good care,