I recently had one of the worst epileptic episodes, I had went into a full convulsion. I was taking my usual walk and talking on my cell phone with my friend. I felt a strong aura coming on and the last thing I remember is telling her to please stay on the phone with me. From that moment on I was at the hospital and it took about 2 hours at the hospital to be able to understand and realize what happened to me. At the hospital I had 2 more mild episodes. From everyone I talked to when I was walking this is what happened to me:

A young boy on his bike found me at a corner of a intersection. He waved down the people whe were driving by to stop and help me. Thankfully someone did stop and she called the police and they send an ambulance to take me to the hospital. The friend that I was talking to called my family and told them where I was at. My younger brother and mom came to the scene. Everyone told me that I was out cold and my eyes were moving so rapidly.

My right knee is so badly cut that I could barely walk. The whole right side of my face is cut and my eye is swollen to where I can't even look out of it. I'm burised all over of my body.

My usual episodes are just me having an aura and I'll have a blank look on my face and I'll either lay down or sit and let it pass through my body. Afterwards I'll be very distraught and not knowing where I was at or time it is. I'll be consumed by intenest muscle weakness.

What just happened a few days ago (Thursday) scares me so much. When I think I understands my episodes and knowing how to prepare for them it gets termendously worst. I really don't want to be alone right now and need all the support I could get. My family are simply not understanding my circumstances ever since I've been diagonised with Partial Complex Seziures. They haven't said it but through their actions and words it is as though they are saying "okay, here she goes again blanking out, falling over again, owell" how can they be so unsenseitive, they are my family. I am so angry, disappointed and hurt by them. I really want to sit them all down, write them a letter and really let them know how much they have hurt me.

My 17 year sister moved out for the summer. She now tells me that she won't move back in unless I leave. Why has everyone made it seem like I asked this for myself to epileptic. The person who is at the lowest point who is scared and uncertain contines to be beaten down.

The simpilest things for asking for a ride down the street, I get lectured, intearegated first and having to listen to each of my family members that how busy they are and that I'm such an unconvience to them. Why haven't any of them consider my situation that I no longer have the same control of my life as before.

My parents first thought that asking me to leave and stay at a spare house of my aunt would be best. Would it make it easier for my family not having to look at me everyday so that they don't have to deal with me. At the time when I need the most support they tell me to leave. Instead of asking me to leave now, they have rearrange the rooms so that I can have my own space. I have the room with my 10 year old sister. My parents moved out to the living room. My brothers which are 19 and 15 have their rooms still and my 17 year sister has her own room where before all the sisters shared a room together. Knowing the patterns of my family, sooner or later it will all be thrown back into my face. "Its all your fault Jennifer that we must adjust to your damn health". To be honest I can't hear those words anymore, its too painful.

My aunt tells me to give it a try with the new living arrangement and if it doesnt work out, her spare house is still open to me.

It hurts so much that in a family I feel so ALONE and now my episodes have been getting worst.