What attracted you to your husband? It sounds like he had the same tendencies then, as he has now, so what was different? Did you expect him to change after the marriage began? Or, were you too eager to move onto the next phase of your life (marriage, children, etc.)?

Have you ever opened up and shared your feelings of resentment and worry towards your husband? If so, what was his reponse? What does he do for a living? Does he have a lot of outstanding bills that are causung the problems? If so, maybe checking into consolidation would be the right move for you.

How are the income and bills handled now? Like: some are your responsibility, and others are his? Or, are all funds put together to pay all bills? I would recommend sitting down with your hub and having an open discussion about your fear that the debts are growing too fast & a reasonable plan needs to be worked out and stuck by with determination.

Hopefully, some money will be left over to play with after the bills are paid each month. It isn't easy to get into conversations like these, as people automatically become very defensive. So, try to be as non-accusatory as possible. You two are married. What's yours is his and vice-versa. You need to come up with a plan that is reasonable for both of you to accept. If that can't be done, then I would recommend getting in to see a marriage and family counselor ~ to help you both work through your differences in priorities.

While your co-worker may seem to be a tempting escape from your problems at home, becoming emotionally and physically involved would only complicate things further in your world. I'd seriously advise you to keep your focus on fixing your marriage ~ rather than trying to escape the frustration within it.

Very best wishes to you and your hub. I hope that you're able to work things out soon! Btw, to PC!