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me and my husband have lived together for 1 year. we'd never faced any problems before marriage, though we hadn’t lived together then, we had sexual relations and both enjoyed them. After marriage I faced with the fact that he doesn’t want to have sex every night, but rather once or maximum twice a week. he didn’t go to bed with me, just sat there with his computer, saying he had to work. I cried and asked for attention, but every time his face was impressing only unwillingness to make love, as if he was waiting for the end. I never said no to him, every time he wanted sex (even though it happened quite rarely). We tried a lot of new stuff - role games,positions,****,etc. to color our sexual life, but he seemed to be bored anyway. Then I noticed he watches porn quite often. Then I found videos of him filming my girlfriends pissing in a toilet. Then I found photos of his friends' sisters' panties. Then it was movies about underwear fetish. Then I realized that we always had sex only if I had fancy/strange underwear or costumes. Now he realized what he prefers and he is all into porno movies with fetish. He opened a community on some of the social networks and loads videos he found on other sites in. He can’t work properly; he behaves with me as if I was his best friend. We don’t have sex, despite the fact I ask for it, but I want to make love, without fetish. I want to be loved. I am in deep depression now. I don’t want to live.I don’t respect myself for asking for attention, I hate my appearance, as I don’t look attractive enough to my husband, i dont trust him because he lies all the time about watching porn, always saying different things and expressing different attitude...
Then he told me that he was raped when he was 13. He suffered a lot at first, but now he doesn’t seem to care much about this fact. After that he started enjoying watching other people through the windows at night.
We tried to go the psychologist. But it didn’t help, because he didn’t want to speak about this. The doctor used hypnosis, but it just didnt help.
He knows he can lose me, and he doesnt want to lose me, but doesn want to change anything either. He is all into downloading and watching these movies now. Every time I find something at our computer, I start shaking badly from nerves, crying. I am obsessed in looking for stuff in his PC. No one else knows about this problem. We look nice in the parents' and friends' eyes. And its so hard not to be able to speak to anyone about this, to share...
I love him. He is a wonderful man, a talented one, an architect, kind and smart... He loves me too, but he seems to be addicted. is it possible to save our relationship? how should I behave? Sometimes I feel like I cant even look at him, sometimes I hate coming home, sometimes I look at him and realize we should go through this and win. Is it possible?
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