I am still online; it's 12:29 am pst.

I am so scared to go to bed now.

I am so scared I am going to surrender again to him.

I want him so bad. So bad.

But I keep remembering how sick it really makes me.

All day, I was working and thought about him, at times; he drifted into the fore and the back of my mind and it just made me sick.

I am so scared if I lie down or be still, thoughts of him and longings for him will return and I won't have any way to fight it.

Just checking in.

Help...

If you don't know what to say, just say, "I am with you, Carol."

or just give me a hug or a thanks.

thanks,

Carol