Ok. I've been with my boyfriend for a while now, and I love him to bits and would trust him with my life. honestly, he's the reason i stopped SH and am still alive.

i've been debating on whether or not i should tell him about my......down times (to put it lightly). So i told him the other day.

EXCEPT I"M TERRIFIED I"M GOING TO LOSE HIM. I'm an extremely paranoid person, and i'm scared that i freaked him out. i mean, I would be mildly freaked out if someone told me this out of the blue, because i wouldn't know what it feels like (i'm talking hypothetical - i would be completely understanding if someone told me that they want to kill themselves or can't see any way out)

he said he understands and that he's there if i need him, but what if he's saying that just to make me happy?

i don't know what to do..... and i'm scared of losing him, because he's my lifeline (though he still doesn't know that - i don't want him to feel pressured.)

i honestly don't want to put pressure on him, but i NEED some form of support since i don't trust my parents.