i've had a really emotional past 24 hrs, i feel like i can't cope anymore, like i've finally reached my wits end. i thought i could have a civil relationship w/my mother, i thought that moving out of home would put some space between us and poss even improve things. i always thought there wld b a happy ending, i wish someone had warned me a bit earlier that this is no damn fairy tale. i just want my mother out of my life, and it's the most stupid thing that triggered it off - she called me two nights in a row when i asked her not to...now i know that might sound a bit petty but believe me there is plently of history behind that of her being so intrusive and oh my gosh just so downright unbearable to live with. she is a very sick woman and i can't afford to be manipulated into playing her little games anymore. i just need to walk away, not do a big i-hate-u speech, but just withdrawl from her so there are no huge implications for my relationships with otha family members. i can't handle her, it's too much stress and i'm living a lie b/c there is no relationship between us, she doesn't listen to a word i say she has no respect for ppls boundaries, of how to function in society, just any normal nicieties that u expect from ppl. even a 5 min chat w/her on the ph can trigger off all sorts of flashbacks and just take me into a huge downer.

i talked to my T today, i managed to get one of her emergency slots, and she thinks things may have reached a head and agreed it probly is best if i don't have contact w/her for the moment. i don't blame her, it doesn't seem to do me much good.