I was in basic training when my best friend was killed in a car crash at 18 years of age. They don't let you leave for it unless it is a family member. It has been two years since he was killed, and it was not his fault which is a tough thing to swallow. I am told that you have to look at what that person wants. A friend of mine lost his mom to cancer when he was only 17. There was a poem read stating the words, "Do not cry for me for I am dancing in the clouds with God. Yes, I died during xmas, but do not miss me for I am singing with God's chior, the Holy Chior." Those words have always stuck with me. At only 21 years of age, i have had to attend many funerals already, and I must say that the traggic ones are the worst. My friend Mike did not see what was coming. My best advice is a series of tools that have helped me. First is time. You will know how mcuh you need. Second, is a memorial for your loved one. Mike was cremated which I have had hard tim dealing with because his family has him placed in his room and I do not feel right asking for permission to see him. But maybe plant a garden in respect to the loss. We ran in a marathon for my friend Mike. Three is talk about the loss a lot. I found that people want to help, but they don't know how to really start. Many people have given me some great ideas, and motivation that would not have been possible without me saying something about Mike. Four is to take care of yourself. Make sure that thigns are ok with you. Make sure that you are working and yet still treating yourself at the local DQ. 5 is to take car eof others. When Mike died, they gave little attention to Mike's only younger brother Scotty who just graduated high school this May. It took a year for Scott to be recognized and to be respected like Mike was.