Im mad at you.

I know I said mean things to you in the past. I know that I've wished many times for you to go away and leave me alone. But now I want/need you. And you aren't answering my texts and emails. I wish you would be up front about it. I wish that you would either tell me to go away, or come hug me. I wish I wish I wish. I dont even know what I want. I just feel so unloved and unwanted right now. I am counting on you to prove to me that someone wants me, because I cant lie to myself anymore. It doesn't work