The thing is people keep saying the word "Happy" and I don't think that's actually the reason for suicide.

I have suicidal thoughts. I have them even when everything in my life is going great. I've done a great deal of work on myself to overcome them. I will overcome them for a while, but then they will come back. Even with enough to eat, a good husband, great kids, warm bed, roof over my head they will come back. And I know this, so I must be ready to fight at all times. That's because suicidal thoughts have nothing to do with being "happy." And that's where the media gets it wrong.

"S/He had all the (fill in the blank) in the world, but still wasn't happy." That's an incorrect statement. Suicide isn't a direct result of unhappiness in all cases. Like I've said before, it's like psychosis. You become unaware of reality. You lose your ability to reality check. Something happens inside of your mind and tries to take over you and if it wins, you die.

It's like my husband will complain to me, "You're depressed because you're unhappy with me." No, that's not true. It has nothing to do with him. I was depressed long before I even met him. Depression doesn't actually have anything to do with happiness. It effects the feeling "happiness" but it's something else all together.

So everyone chasing after "happy" is chasing the wrong thing.

Sorry if I'm rambling I am not really clear today....