I haven't really wondered about the sincerity of my various T's, but I have been concerned about whether or not they are deluded somehow or are relentlessly optimistic about me or people in general.

I know that when working with people long term, you can't really be inauthentic because it will catch up with you. It is very difficult to remember how you might have snowed someone before with false praise or encouragement before and continue that for some length of time. Unless you are a psychopath, it's also difficult to fake matching your words and your nonverbals. I find that if I both listen to my T and look at him (which I can't always do both at the same time; it is often one or the other), I don't doubt that he really believes what he is saying. He is responding to me in an authentic way and after a childhood where people were not authentic, I sure as h*ll know the difference now. But it's in the consistency of his response to me over time (I've seen him for almost 2 years) for me that is the real test of sincerity, because he doesn't have that great a memory (most people don't) to be able to state the same kinds of lies over and over.

But one thing I wonder-- and this may not be true for you-- but anytime that I "fish" for positive feedback I very rarely believe the answer. It's kind of crazy-making for the people in my life, like "tell me you like me" and then I say "I don't believe you, because I had to ask!" And one of the ways I fish for positive feedback is to say something negative about myself, anticipating that the person will correct me. It's a bit of a paradox to me, but the less often that I fish for something that I want from people, the more likely I am to get it. It is as if by freeing people from my desire to have them say particular things that I think I need to hear, I actually find that they say them spontaneously more often.