Thanks for the replies. I just got back from therapy and I'm going to go creatively express all of the horrible sad feelings THAT whole exercise in self-reflection trudged up.

I will be actively posting, listening and understanding as best I can. I'm not an advice-giver. Hey, I've screwed up at life enough times to disqualify myself from unwanted pontifications to unsuspecting peers.

Glad to be back, either way. =)