I don't know what to do; It is time for my 25th high school reunion and I am struggling with going or not going...

I talked with a friend from that time and I didn't sleep more than a couple of hours each night for the folowing week.
I had flashbacks and confusing thoughts... and now I feel like I am walking through a dark tunnel or something.. nothing is clear..maybe I am just in a daze of some sort.

The thing is I am worried about going to this thing..worried about being triggerd.. flooded with memories I cannot handle...

There is so much trauma in my past.. so much I am missing in details when I try to remember things...I have one close friend I have maintained a friendship with since high school and she really wants me to go...

Part of me wants to go but most of me is afraid to... and not just because of the emotional part of it either.. but for the effect stress has on me physically.. I don't know if I can take it..

I have to have my money in by the end of this week and the reunion is not until Sept23.. I can't seem to decide.. I bounce back and forth over it... my friend says " go.. pleeeease.. if something happens and you can't handle it.. you can always leave early" .... yeah, but, I don't want to waste the money either... and it doesn't take much to trigger....

What do ya'll think? What would you do in my shoes? I am still rather new to PTSD... and it scares me..