Slowly. Very slowy.

I have really had a tough time with this for MANY years ~ and I still struggle! I'm starting to believe that I may need to forgive before I can truly open myself up to others.

That said, I am finally at the point of therapy in which I'm willing to share very intimate and important parts of my life. I do it in little pieces though. Not opening up long sagas in every visit. Rather, sharing a piece of my history that brings up shame and self-hate....we then talk about the effect this memory has upon me. These events occurred, yes, but they do not define who I am. I need to work on accepting my past as simply that ~ my past, and now, work through my feelings so I can move forward in life.

If the guilt was reasonable, then they recommend apologizing. However, when the issue is shame, and you theorhetically "know" that you're not supposed to feel shame, that's when radical acceptance is what's needed. For me, that is absolutely the hardest part! I can honestly say that I've been able to do it with forgiving my sexual abuser (uncle in-law) as a teen ~ many years later though. So, I know that radical acceptance can be done. I think that it's harder to do on the closer and deeper relationships. As I am unable to forgive others in my family for abuse and/or denial. Personally, I think that it's the denial that really hurts me. As there were other abusive incidents in my family, which they all completely deny. That brings up a lot of emotions within me!