Ohlostme, your post actually reminded me of the book, 7 habits of highly effective people. One chapter focuses on what our main focus in life is (individually). I found that interesting because my life used to marriage based. Meaning, the marriage was my focus. Not our feelings about each other but, rather, I lived for the purpose of the marriage and what my vision of marriage was. When my marriage was lost, I was left with the question, 'WHAT NOW?'
What I found personally, is that I need to live to support myself and be kind to myself and take care of myself. If I'm not ok, then I can't be ok for anyone else.

Just food for thought. If you do get a chance, I would reccommend that book to anyone, I found a lot of useful 'tools' by reading it.