Really really want to sh today. Like I have already thought about what I will do when I get home as far as where and what I am going to use out of my stuff that i have at home. But I guess part of me is trying to convince myself not to, although that part of me is not as loud as the part that wants to leave some new marks over my fading ones.

I don't get it. Why do people have to trivialize the crap in my head. Maybe that's why I want to s-h? I was talking to my friend about a money issue and of course it was the same person who was not so kind with me about my other issue [sexual/gender forum] and he was like "don't make it bigger than it is, you are overreacting" but all angry and parental, not talking to me like an adult. (it doesn't look bad written down at all, I wish you could hear his condescending tone) Oh well. I feel dumb for even posting this (as I do most of my threads I start unless it's game-related)

I guess I just need to try to get it out some other way before I leave work so that I don't go home and wreck the last couple weeks of not sh.

Thanks for reading, if you did.