Personally, this is how I see it. When I bounce back and forth like that, I already know the answer. No. I think if I were to already be feeling flashbacks and confusion and I am not even physically there yet, that's a good indicator of what is to come. Realistically looking at it you have a great deal of concern for a place that holds a great deal of trauma for you. What pleasure can that give you? You have your one friend that you keep contact with, are you seeking to regain friendships with others from back then?

I've never gone to one high school reunion. For much of similar reasons. Just a time in my life that is the past. Like an old love, why try to rekindle something that isn't there? Anyone I do desire to speak with, we have kept contact over the years.

Whatever happened there, you don't need to face to conquer. Should you decide to go you need to be ready to deal with opening a can of worms, and what will come from that. You admittedly already feel some of it's effects now. If you really want to get in touch with someone from back then, go to classmate.com, you can find your school, and old buddies.

If you are afraid to let down your friend, don't be.

Hope this helps you some. Hugs, Lisa.