I am very depressed and emotional over my illnesses and waiting for ssdi to tell me if they will allow me my disability benefits and health care.

Being in pain everyday of my life has aged me physically and emotionally.
I am very short tempered, I hate what I have become, and I try so hard not
To be short tempered with anyone.

I have Tarlov Cysts that are erroding my sacrum bone, its like sand paper rubbing the
Bone away slowly to LIVE bone that has nerves within it. I have fibromalaygia and chronic fatigue as well. Each morning when I awake, I'm hunched over like a 90 year old woman who has to take pain medication just to stand up straight. I walk with a cane or a walker, but each step or. Movement gnaws at the cysts rubbing against the bone.

Has anyone had bone pain before? It sucks. Because of the placement of these cysts, it is pinching the spinal cord and also has pushed a nerve over at S2 which causes nerve damage. The longer it takes for surgery takes the more damage it does. I need surgery to clamp off the cysts and a metal plate put in so they will no longer errode the bone.

Because I am not "terminal" I don't qualify for immediate benefits through ssdi (social security disability) so I have to wait iin line which I'm told could take up to two years or longer.

I'm stinking mad! Its like no one gets it, if I can't get my pain controlled, how long do they expect me to just be okay with this?

The suicide rate for chronic pain suffers is much higher than any other.

No, this isn't a suicide note, I couldn't do that to my kids. They are older and have their own lives, and I have a grand child who just turned 1. Yet I couldn't go to her birthday party because I was hurting to much. Sighss.

Is there anyone else who has tarlov cysts around the forums? It sure would be nice to talk to people, I feel so alone. I live in my bedroom, the only time I come out is for the bathroom and when I'm hungry which isn't that often anymore. I've lost 65 pounds this last year and I'm not on a diet. While weight loss is a good thing, but not the way I'm losing it.

I now rent a room in a house, my room mate is wonderful. But I only get food stamps right now, my room mate said I can pay them when I get my money. I just hope they mean that.

"In pain and desperate for communication"
GypsyBlu