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Thank Your for the reply and please don't take my response personally as it is not aimed at you, heck I don't know you but more aimed at how I feel towards the nature of your question to me, even if you didn't reply and someone else wrote the same my response or reaction would still have been the same... so please don't take my anger or reply personally.
It appears I will always be a worthless, hopeless waste of a human, that is good for nothing, and it appears no matter how hard of trying this is all I will ever be and it looks like more than likely there will never be a time when I am not like this in the future.
What I think of the other people is they are acceptable and although not perfect they are able to be and live a life as expected and not be such a hopeless waste of a life they each have something which makes them ok to live and even if they didn’t have that there is still something different to them that I don’t have. It is like the disposition they carry about themselves or maybe it is that they think differently and view life differently…. You may say well why don’t I just learn to think differently and be like them,,,, (BY THE WAY I DON’T MEAN THIS ANGRYLY TOWARDS YOU BUT JUST POINTING IT OUT) BUT IT IS LIKE ME SAYING TO YOU THINK DIFFERENTLY AND UNDERSTAND MY POST AS I DO…. Words don’t always nor do actions sometimes have an affect….. this is what I am also on about nothing will affect in me a way where I can transform myself to be just like any other average Joe going about their life’s just doing some of the basics like having a job and be a least able not to break down into tears or get seriously angry with that not showing through to the customers and other staff members. It appears then I will always be a drain of life and a person that should not live. When there are so many more appreciative of life and able to change themselves for others so not to be horrible, but I just can’t be any different and it appears me trying to live being like this will never be accepted so there seems only one option ever for me, but I am too selfish to do that as I know I should but weirdly I can’t bring myself to end my life even though a part of me wants it to.
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