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learning who you can trust to bounce ideas off of to help you figure out what info to take in and what info to ignore and release

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I have at least a couple of people I trust for these reality checks. You know what? I think that is at least part of what I am trying to do when I do talk about people, especially when I am upset about something they said or did. I have never really trusted my own perceptions. The idea that if someone disagrees with me then I am always wrong goes back well into childhood. When I share things about someone that I am upset about, I think that what I really am doing is asking whether or not my feelings and perceptions are accurate. But I probably don't provide enough information, because generally I just tell the parts that I am upset about, which makes it a distortion. And I must have recognized that too, because it is tempting to share the entire conversation, in hopes that by doing that someone have enough information to see both sides of it, and maybe be more objective. But even if I do that, I can't share then entire context of the relationship, etc., so it's still going to be just the part that I am upset about and still will be skewed. And then, a lot of people probably pick up on the fact that I get something out of seeing myself as a victim, and therefore tell me what they think I want to hear. Let's face it, it's pretty hard when someone asks for help to reply directly to them and tell them that they have it wrong and you actually are more inclined to take sides with the person they think is picking on them. But from now on, if I do ask for feedback about someone I think is picking on me, I hope that someone would tell me the way it really is, and not just say what they think will make me feel better.

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there comes a point when you can only live life so constricted and confused for but so long.

sounds like you've hit that point.

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Yeah, I keep hitting that point.