Had an overall great session with my T tonight...But I'm a bit scared. I let her read my therapy journal (where I write down anything I feel during the day or night that might be something important for her to read or know about) and I explained in there that last time we talked, I had a flashback and zoned out while she was talking to me. She asked me if we could talk about that, and I said yes. She sounded concerned which made me feel bad (but I know it's a good thing that she was concerned. I'm just not used to people caring). She wants me to try and tell her when the flashbacks happen, or after it happened...But how do I do that if I don't realize that's what it is until long after? They're scary sometimes...sometimes hurtful and upsetting. I don't like to be stuck in the past in my mind. How can I help her help me through these? What are things that you guys have noticed is an outward "hallmark sign" of a flashback occuring or you're detaching/zoning out? I don't make eye contact so she can't tell by my eyes...I avoid it at all costs simply because it's intimidating and confusing to me.

It's so difficult to face things when you're so used to shoving them away deep inside for them to never see light as long as you can help it. :s