I woke up crying again. I had a dream about him and I started crying in my dream and I woke up like that. It was horrible. I've been so depressed since yesterday. I went to a church dinner and I had to fight the urge to leave. Free food is free food, and it was good food. I get like this and I just feel like the people around me are so fake and phony and they're all against me and just talk to me because they have to. I stayed quiet the whole dinner and mainly played games on my phone. I didn't have the energy to start any conversations. I still feel that way today.