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Old Nov 08, 2012, 01:42 PM
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NinaNina NinaNina is offline
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Member Since: May 2012
Location: Ottawa, Ontario
Posts: 153
Background: I've been with my boyfriend for a little over a year. We have had lots of issues in the past with him getting loaded often and making stupid decisions that really hurt my feelings. We worked through it, and the past 4 or 5 months have been good. He's acted a lot better and more respectful, and stopped getting drunk all the time. We've been good, in love, and happy.

Last night I reminded him about the fact that I was house sitting this weekend, and asked it he was going to come stay with me. He said one night yes, but the other night one of his friends/co-workers was having a party for "us" (meaning the guys from work). I have that friend on Facebook, so I already knew that him and a female friend of his are throwing a big birthday bash this weekend where they're all getting loaded and going bar hopping. I would definitely not be comfortable with my boyfriend going to this party without me because of his history with drinking, especially going out to the bar.

Instead of calmly talking about it, I jumped right in and blurted "that bday party where they're all getting loaded and going downtown? No way in hell are you going." He looked very taken aback and said that he didn't know that's what it was, he thought it was just the guys. I realized how terrible and controlling I had just sounded, so I apologized for sounding like a b****, but said I didn't think it was a good idea.

He was obviously pissed and I think a little hurt with how I had reacted, and said "he got the point." I apologized again, and said that I'm sure since it will be a big party we could both go if he wanted to go, but he said he didn't want to talk about it.

The next hour or so we remained mostly quiet, he was obviously in a bad mood and I was upset.

I finally spoke up, saying I was really sorry for how I had reacted. I was pretty well in tears (sounds like a silly thing to be crying about I know-but things have been so good, and I've been trying so hard to trust him, that I just truly felt terrible). He finally softened his expression and tone and told me not to worry about it, he didn't care. The rest of the evening was fine.

My issue now is I still feel a little bad. But also, he mentioned he still may only stay with me this weekend on Friday night, and stay home Saturday night, which is fine with me, except that now I'm worried that he will just go to the party anyways and not tell me. I know I should trust him and not worry about it, but every once in a while, in certain situations, I still find trusting him really hard, and then I get anxious.

Sorry for the novel...any comments or advice?

Thanks
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