Well, last night I slept with a large sharp knife right beside me hoping I would roll on it during the night, no such luck. I'm still here unharmed. I'm thankful that some of you replied to me and they are touching. But in my head I still don't feel any better. On top of everything, a girl I think I'm in love with does not seem to feel the same way and she is nice to me out of pity. She has a boyfriend and I respect that, I just want to be with her, but I'm sure she doesn't want that. I need anyone to hold me. Just wish it was her.