CarrieAnn -- The others are right -- Rock bottom is just that -- the bottom. You can't go lower than that. It's misery, nightmares, self-pity, loneliness, and a myriad of other emotions that are too many to list. You can't stay there -- you are a vital human being who deserves better than this!

So what if you relapsed! Do you think you're the only one who has done this? People do it every day! And they are laying in bed right now, feeling the same as you are. But the majority will NOT STAY there!!! They'll get up and get HELP.

That's what you have to do -- GET UP. Get to AA, go to meetings, work the Steps, do service work (which kept me sober BIG TIME). Service work can mean just emptying ash trays & setting up chairs for the meeting! it doesn't mean you have to go out & see people.

Get out of bed & get to a meeting! This is your life Carrie, and life is WONDERFUL in sobriety! Take if from someone who drank HEAVILY for 20 years -- and then found AA. Life couldn't be better now!!! Please Carrie -- God put you here for a reason -- not to die as a drunk. God bless and take care. Hugs, Lee