Hi Nina ~ Then I completely understand your disappointment in his going to ANY bar or party with alcohol. He doesn't seem to be committed to getting sober, does he!
Is he going to AA? If not, perhaps he should. He'd have a sponsor he could call when he got the urge to drink, plus a call list if his sponsor wasn't available. Perhaps AA isn't for him. There are other organizations that deal with alcoholism. I hope he's not trying to do this on his own, or with the help of a "friend."
If he really wants to get sober, he cannot have ONE DRINK. Not one. But I don't think he has surrendered yet. I really don't think he wants to get sober for HIM. He can't do it for YOU or for your relationship or anyone else.
It sounds like your biggest problem is his drinking Nina, and I really don't know what to tell you. If he isn't going to stop drinking, you have two choices --- stay with him and continue watching him kill himself with this alcohol, and do inappropriate things, or leave and find someone else who won't treat you like this, but treat you as you DESERVE to be treated. With respect and honor. Personally, after living with an alcoholic, I would take the latter. God bless Nina, and my prayers are with you. Big hugs, Lee