I understand what you are saying but I don't think you are really seeing her side of it.
I wouldn't consider what she said to be hurtful or offensive but you do and that's what counts. I would think any friend that would come at 3am because you needed her is a pretty good friend. And yes, sometimes you do have to work at friendship. Also in order to really have a good friend you need to be a good friend.
So yeah bottom line I think you may be seeing this wrong and being a little selfish and expecting too much. That's just my opinion.