Quote:
Originally Posted by tokiwartooth
I woke up crying again. I had a dream about him and I started crying in my dream and I woke up like that. It was horrible. I've been so depressed since yesterday. I went to a church dinner and I had to fight the urge to leave. Free food is free food, and it was good food. I get like this and I just feel like the people around me are so fake and phony and they're all against me and just talk to me because they have to. I stayed quiet the whole dinner and mainly played games on my phone. I didn't have the energy to start any conversations. I still feel that way today.
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Toki -- it seems you are having some powerfully emotional dreams. Drinking, and then the ex (?) I still have dreams of an ex that I was with over 25 years ago! Dreams out of nowhere. And I have been married to the same guy (not the guy from the dream) for 25 years. Thank God I no longer have drinking dreams often, but I had one a couple months ago. I dreamt that I was hiding bottles all over my house, I had tremendous guilt, then I was caught. Man, I hate those dreams.
Now really is a good time to go to a meeting and share. I also know what it's like to be in social situations and feel like you can't talk or anything. That's how I feel when my social anxiety and depression are very bad. But put one foot in front of the other. When your depression makes it impossible to go to thiings like church functions, then make your only priority getting to a meeting. And doing the bare minimum at home, while also engaging in positive behaviors to try to feel better.
Don't give up on yourself! We are all very valuable.
