This is probably part of my way of working through the loss of my marriage.

Intellectually, I know the chances of her coming home are slim to none.... In fact, I think Slim is out back packing up the horses so he can ride out of town.

Emotionally, I hope and pray that she realizes that I can be better and that If she can forgive me, I can forgive her.

People tell me I need to "move on". I don't want to move on. I want my family back. I want the love of my life back.

As we said in the Marines.... "Want in one hand and **** in the other. See which one fills up first"